I Am Stuck In A Bad Circle, And I Can’t Seem To Get Out

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One of the most significant issues that I am facing is the fact that I am surrounded by friends who I thought are the good ones. I indeed enjoy hanging out with them. I often find myself giggling and laughing so hard every time all of us spend moments together. I am confident to say that they are friendly, helpful, caring, and attentive to my needs. Honestly, I cannot ask for more from them because they are genuinely a big part of my life. However, I can’t help but notice the changes in my friends’ behavior towards me. I am confused right now.

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When It All Started

Compared to all my friends, I can say that I am the most financially confident. Not that I have a lot, but I earn so much because of my skills. I know how hard it is not to have something in the table; that is why I always make sure that I get a room for us to have everything. I spoil my friends with lavishing trips and luxurious dinners. That’s all in me. Honestly, I love doing it for them. Therefore, I don’t complain. They can set their demands all they want because I know I can provide it. Besides, I am convinced that their happiness is mine too. However, I did not prepare myself for the upcoming turn of events.

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My friends always ask me for help, and I am more than willing to assist them with anything. Emotionally, physically, morally, and financially, you name it. But lately, I tried considering myself and begin to like stuff that only I can benefit. I went on expensive trips alone, bought the latest smartphone, went out to dinner with my classmates, etc. After doing all those things, I began to feel something off about them. They started ignoring me. They don’t return my calls and texts messages. With that, I dared myself to ask them what’s wrong. I was upset when they informed me that I am now a different person and that I don’t think about their needs anymore. I am now selfish and self-centered, and that I only want things for myself. The moment I heard all of those complaints, I began to realize I was stuck in a wrong circle who only takes advantage of me. They don’t want me to do things on my own because it doesn’t benefit them. It breaks my heart because I genuinely thought that what I do for them is something they appreciate. But I’m wrong.

After hearing all that stuff, I decided to make amends. I disregarded the things I like and went giving them everything again. I am a coward that is afraid to lose the people I know are using me. I am scared to be alone. I chose not to deal with my social issue properly. I am stuck in the wrong circle, and I can’t seem to get out.