Parenting is a complicated task, especially if you are handling a teenager. That’s because they are often aggressive, impulsive, and unreasonable. They have this mentality that they can do whatever they want without any supervision. They feel entitled to decision-making even if it means a lot for their future. There are tons of arguments and discussions about family and personal issues that often get unresolved. From there you start to wonder, “Do I entirely understand and know my teenager?”
Being a teenager is extremely difficult because of the different developments of their mental health and emotional aspects. Sometimes, you already encounter some of their unusual traits but can’t seem to understand what they mean. Let’s try to elaborate those behaviors, so we can give you a heads-up on what your teens are going through.
- Not Open About Their Relationship Status – Your teenagers are practically dealing with emotional development when it comes to the opposite sex. And when they seem too afraid to tell it to you, perhaps it’s because they don’t trust your reaction. They don’t feel confident and safe about your judgment. They see you as someone who always interferes for no reason. They want you to become the last person in their lives that know everything about their relationship.
“Despite our reluctance and fear that our “babies” are venturing into the big scary world of dating, love, and sex, (most certainly to get their hearts shattered into a million pieces), by allowing our teens to date, we are actually helping them to become healthy, mature, informed individuals who are training to be good relational partners,” said Sara Villanueva, PhD.
- They Often Don’t Follow Rules – Handling teenagers takes a lot of pressure. That’s because their emotional and mental capabilities get too overwhelming. Their sense of self-importance reaches a level where rules no longer apply to them. However, those things somehow happen when everything they hear are only rules and restrictions. If you insist on being a parent that’s always right and them being children who always make mistakes, then expect a rebellion.
- Teens Don’t Seek For Parental Advice – Most teens are independent and out of control. Sometimes they commit mistakes too. However, when they don’t seek parental advice, it means they are not aware of your role in their lives. They don’t understand anything about parent-teen connection. They are uncomfortable, doubtful, and scared of your ideas. As a result, they choose not to let you in on their lives.
“Researchers agree that the psychological work of adolescence is to “become yourself”—to form an identity separate from your parents,” said Marilyn Price-Mitchell, PhD.
- Everything Is All About Hate – Teenagers emotionally and mentally change drastically, and when parents aren’t able to catch up on it, they end up losing their teens. Sometimes, too many words become daunting. However, lesser words also weigh in. That’s because for these teenagers, you will always be ahead of them and they don’t like it.
“Our teens can be so dramatic, right? Yet the minute you show your emotions – laughter, sadness, anger, etc. – they shut off. They become very easily overwhelmed and can struggle to process a conversation or direction you are giving,” said Liz Matheis, PhD.
- They Focus On Complaints Rather Than Benefits – It’s normal for teens to feel unwanted and unloved. It’s part of their emotional development. But when you let it sink in their heads for an extended period, they will never see your importance. Teens are rebellious because they aim for the things they want even if it cost something valuable. And when you ignore it or takes you longer to respond, surely, it’ll be too late to reconnect.
Teenagers are quite complicated, and when you let your guard down as a parent, they will turn into something you won’t be able to control. Remember that parenting is not all about rules and restrictions. It’s all about love, understanding, and communication.