Having the ability to manage stress is something that every teenager must possess. Teenage life can be complicated and challenging, which is why you need to be aware of the different methods on how you can manage stress. First of all, always remember that feeling stress is inevitable. No matter how much you make an effort to avoid it, it will still come your way. Luckily, there are many ways on how to deal with all the things that can be stressful on your part.
Being a mother or a father, you surely have a lot of worries as your teenager grows old. There isn’t a perfect handbook that can teach you how to deal with their drama and rebellious streaks without losing your temper. Every child is unique as well, so you can’t even compare your kid to others and hope they’ll act similarly.
But one thing that scares all parents the most is the prospect of their daughter falling in love and getting pregnant at a young age. A baby will always be a blessing, for sure, yet it’s reasonable to wish for your teen to enter college, obtain a well-paying job, and enjoy life freely before having their own family.
In today’s generation, we can all agree that teens are more independent. They know what they want in life, and they try hard to achieve their goals. There are times they get mistreated and judged because of their way of seeing things, but it does not bother them. They know how to handle pressure because they get to live with it. Sometimes, some of them are vulnerable, but most are not quitters. In that sense, these individuals know their worth. However, it is not okay that they know what they only want to know. These kids should look into the essential things in life that will become useful in their future endeavor.
Sorry Is Not Enough
One thing that teens should always remember is that sorry is never enough. Yes, an apology can be accepted, but it does not end there. There is a full obligation to remove doubts, emotional, and mental damage that associate to a particular mistake. Note that not because people expect teens to commit mistakes, they are allowed to do it multiple times. There are considerations, and there are also punishments that get required every time they commit an error.
“People are much better off to apologize and take responsibility for their actions than try and make excuses or deny they’ve made a mistake,” said psychological researcher Jeremy Dean. “Psychological research backs up the everyday intuition that excuses and denials just irritate others.”
The problem with teenagers’ these days is not the hindrances in achieving their goals. It is not also about the types of ambition they aim for a successful future. Instead, it is their attitude towards doing and working on it. You see, teenagers want a lot of things. But sometimes, they no longer can handle everything. With that, they lose motivation and concentration. So before they should attempt bringing more ideas into the table, they must first focus on committing and succeeding to one.
“Studies in humans have made clear that people with stronger social networks have greater longevity. In order to build a strong social network you need to be capable of making commitments,” said psychotherapist and author Philippa Perry.
Responsibility Is A Priority
99% of failure often comes from those individuals who have the habit of making tons of excuses. Yes, not all teens are like that. However, more than half of them love procrastination. It seems like there is an overflowing of confidence out of nowhere that these children thought they could control time. Teenagers must understand the value of not delaying essential things. They must learn to increase their self-awareness and be responsible at all cost. They must organize and prioritize to can use their potential wisely.
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
A lot of teens already know this, and perhaps all of them agree to this. However, not all young adults are brave enough to consider their actions. Mostly those individuals who are self-proclaimed depend on their words. They are good at manipulating people into believing and trusting them. On the better side, a few know how to stick with their principles. These are the ones that should become a role model to those other teenagers who can’t seem to put their words into action
It is not that teenagers are bad people. They happen to have a different perspective on the things around them. Society sees it complicated because everything for these kids appears way too uncomplicated.
“The best way to teach moral behavior is not by preaching morality and punishing immorality, but by living morally,” said Izzy Kalman, national certified school psychologist. “If we want children to grow up acting morally, we can’t be hypocrites.”
One of the most significant issues that I am facing is the fact that I am surrounded by friends who I thought are the good ones. I indeed enjoy hanging out with them. I often find myself giggling and laughing so hard every time all of us spend moments together. I am confident to say that they are friendly, helpful, caring, and attentive to my needs. Honestly, I cannot ask for more from them because they are genuinely a big part of my life. However, I can’t help but notice the changes in my friends’ behavior towards me. I am confused right now.
When It All Started
Compared to all my friends, I can say that I am the most financially confident. Not that I have a lot, but I earn so much because of my skills. I know how hard it is not to have something in the table; that is why I always make sure that I get a room for us to have everything. I spoil my friends with lavishing trips and luxurious dinners. That’s all in me. Honestly, I love doing it for them. Therefore, I don’t complain. They can set their demands all they want because I know I can provide it. Besides, I am convinced that their happiness is mine too. However, I did not prepare myself for the upcoming turn of events.
My friends always ask me for help, and I am more than willing to assist them with anything. Emotionally, physically, morally, and financially, you name it. But lately, I tried considering myself and begin to like stuff that only I can benefit. I went on expensive trips alone, bought the latest smartphone, went out to dinner with my classmates, etc. After doing all those things, I began to feel something off about them. They started ignoring me. They don’t return my calls and texts messages. With that, I dared myself to ask them what’s wrong. I was upset when they informed me that I am now a different person and that I don’t think about their needs anymore. I am now selfish and self-centered, and that I only want things for myself.
“Honesty is important in any relationship. But what happened to kindness?,” said Susan Heitler, PhD. “Be sure you realize that her mean words probably are projections—that is, more accurate as descriptions of how she is than as descriptions of you,”
The moment I heard all of those complaints, I began to realize I was stuck in a wrong circle who only takes advantage of me. They don’t want me to do things on my own because it doesn’t benefit them. It breaks my heart because I genuinely thought that what I do for them is something they appreciate. But I’m wrong.
After hearing all that stuff, I decided to make amends. I disregarded the things I like and went giving them everything again. I am a coward that is afraid to lose the people I know are using me. I am scared to be alone. I chose not to deal with my social issue properly. I am stuck in the wrong circle, and I can’t seem to get out.
According to Andrea Bonior, PhD, when one wants to get out of a toxic friendship, they can choose to “slow-fade” from the relationship. “That’s the easiest, most comfortable way to extract yourself,” she said.
”It is wise to pay attention to your friendships and have them in order while you’re healthy and your life and work are going well,” said psychologist Dr. Harriet Lerner. ”Because when a crisis hits, when someone you love dies, or you lose your job and your health insurance, when the universe gives you a crash course in vulnerability, you will discover how crucial and life-preserving good friendship is.”
They all say that teenagers are the most complicated people in the world. They have their style of living, and they live their lives based on what they desire. These teens are usually stubborn, and sometimes rules do not apply to them. Teenagers are often impulsive, careless, and unpredictable. They believe they can do anything even with little less supervision. With that kind of mentality, parents make decisions that sometimes contradict these teens approval. In that case, these individuals tend to hate their parents. But what exactly are those things they do not like about their peeps?
They Do Not Listen – Parents are parents. They are the authority. They are the ones who set ground rules and often make the most significant decisions in teenagers’ lives. The problem with that particular approach sometimes makes parents not want to listen. Since they believe they are on top of everything, they rarely listen to their kids’ suggestions. Everything about them that pretty much disagrees to their point of views gets considered as complaints. Teens hate that so much. That is the reason why these kids often do not want to talk, share, or confess anything because their parents always have something negative to say.
“As for those firmly authoritative parents who believe that a good child is best seen and not heard, that arguing with a parent is disrespectful, and that undisputed obedience should be obligatory; I believe sometimes such rigid training can ill prepare a young person to make their way in the world,” said Carl E. Pickhardt, PhD.
They Excuse Themselves For Their Mistakes – Since they are “the parents,” most of them think that they are entitled to get off from their mistakes. Most of the times, parents assume the things they do always benefit their kids. That is, regardless of whether the decision can emotionally and mentally hurt these young individuals. These types of parents are insensitive to their teenagers’ feelings. And that no matter what others will say or how much it hurts their kids, it doesn’t matter. They will imply that they know everything because they already have a lot of experience compared to young adults.
“If we behave morally and discipline our children morally, we will make them feel good,” said Izzy Kalman, national certified school psychologist. “They will like us, admire us and aspire to be like us.”
They Throw The First Judgment – Well, not all parents are judgmental. However, a lot of them are. Sometimes, instead of trying to explain to their kids the problem, they blame the young adults for not listening to them. They often disregard the cause of the issue and target the children’s chosen personality instead. In some unfortunate cases, the parents become the number one haters. Every time their teenagers do not follow them, they become the subject of hate. Teenagers are against that type of mentality because it is emotionally devastating and mentally damaging.
“We can’t always keep ourselves from feeling judgmental about teenagers. And, to be sure, there are adolescents (and adults) who get stuck in worrisome ruts,” said Lisa Damour, PhD. “But as a psychologist, there are two rules I live by: good kids do dumb things, and I never have the whole story.
They Sometimes Don’t Care – It is probably “sometimes” because there are moments that parents know when teens are in need. However, what bothers these young adults is the idea that even though their parents see or know something is wrong, they do not always ask. Most parents assume that teens are unpredictable so that they will get over their emotional and mental dilemma in no time. But that is not how these kids see it. The reason they often picture their parents as uncaring individuals is because these kids prefer them to make the first move to from time to time.
It’s essential to note that not all kids are the same, and vice versa. But that it does not mean there is nothing to do in that situation.
Parenting is one of the most intricate jobs in the world. It does not have a pause, it doesn’t follow specific rules, and it is not something all of us can do regularly. If anyone thinks that a certain amount of discipline is comfortably okay, then these people should think twice. I said that because there are times, even though we are now in a technological era, raising kids traditionally still means a lot. But, what can kids say about this? What are their thoughts?
The thing is, parents who are currently raising children traditionally appear to be judged by most people. That is because children are having a hard battle with what is currently approved by society and what tends to be useful years ago. There is the presence of inequality in some areas that happen to be unnoticeable. That is especially when raising males and females.
“Men are equally unprepared for their own implicit assertion of privilege – of the implications of being raised in a world that favours their comforts and ambitions over girls’ and, later, women’s,” said psychologist Darcy Lockman.
In most traditional upbringing, men are always the head of the family. They are the ones accountable for catering to the needs of all the members of the unit. They get more favored because of their ability, strength, calmness, and power. But women, on the other hand, get destined to lock obedience to their male counterparts. The problem with this type of belief is the duty and responsibilities of women often signify domestic chores and diligent studies.
“You might care what the kid dresses like, and I might care that homework gets done perfectly,” notes Sheryl Ziegler, PsyD. “Couples need to have a discussion about what’s important to them as a family and what’s important to them individually.”
In unfortunate cases, traditionally raised women to subject themselves to spend only a couple of hours with parents’ approved friends. Yes, some may say that it is not that horrible as it may seem because up until today, males are still more dominant. However, women of today are already empowered, and that gave them an edge at some point.
When it comes to raising women in traditional ways, parents are often strict. Honestly, that is not a bad thing at all. With all the dangers lurking out there, it can easily harm and take away women’s value. That is why it is scary for parents to allow their kids instant freedom. That is the reason why strict supervision becomes a necessity. But the issue here is not the real danger out there. It is the males’ upbringing that often tells them they can do anything whatever they want. The idea that they are born capable is the cause of female endangerment. But then, society doesn’t seem to bother noticing it because they are too focused on creating a more dominant class of male individuals.
What seems to be an issue in women’s understanding relies on the inequality of traditional upbringing. Most parents who believe in conventional ways overlook the importance of balance in career, studies, sports, domestic tasks, and life choices of their female kids. Honestly, these little adults feel confused as to what they can and cannot do. With that, they often do not feel like living a healthy life. I don’t want to sound feminist, but the truth is, society is to blame for this kind of state. Honestly, though there are women who already proved people wrong, most of the public still consider the traditional ways.
“To me, a society is a reflection of what happens at home. And, if we want a society based on equality, we must first build a home based on equality, as well,” said clinical psychologist Mariana Plata.
Since moms are typically the ones who are with their kids 24/7, they tend to feel the love and the frustration of the growing children more than the dads.
When they refuse to let the kids go on a playdate, for instance, the mothers seem like the baddie, even though their spouse has contributed to this decision as well.
“Focus your energy toward getting to know your children’s friends and educating your children on how to make good friends,” said Francyne Zeltser, PhD. “Set up play dates or enroll them in extra-curricular activities and talk to your child after the event about how he thinks it went.”
Worse, if the teenage daughter becomes forbidden to start dating as she’s supposed to study first, the fun-spoiler is always the mom. Dealing with all these issues is enough to push parents to set an appointment with a licensed therapist, to be honest. Nevertheless, learning to cope with mother-and-daughter problems is not the only thing you have to do. Mental health professionals may agree with me when I say that you need to mend your relationship with your kid.
“There is great value in the mother-daughter tie because the two parties care for one another and share a strong investment in the family as a whole,” said Karen Fingerman, PhD.
Not only will it ensure that your babies will still want to see you even when they are much older, but it will also save you from a lot of stress.
“Don’t wait for the other person to make the first move,” said Linda Mintle, PhD, marriage and family therapist. “Think about how you feel in the relationship and what you can do to change.”
Enter: Halloween nail ideas.
Halloween is perhaps one of the special occasions that kids of all ages love. It is not as colorful as Christmas or as present-filled as their birthday, but everyone gets to put on crazy or scary costumes and earn praises for their style. As for the older children who still love Halloween but merely wish to dress up their nails to avoid seeming childish, though, you can offer to paint their nails and get creative with it.
Here are a few Halloween nail art ideas that you should try while the actual celebration is still several months away.
If this is just the first time you are considering to design nails, the googly eyes will suit you well. The colors you need to get are black, orange, and white. The application of the black polish is the same as how you would usually paint your nails. As for the design, however, there are two things you can do.
One technique is to use the orange nail polish all over the nails, create the white part of the eyes a smaller brush, and then draw the pupils with a black marker. The other option is to purchase a nail art pen so that you only have to draw the white portion. In case you want the super easy method, however, you may buy the three-dimensional googly eyes from a craft store and glue them on your black-painted nails.
This design is basically for the people who cannot let go of brightness in their lives even through nail art but still want to join in the festivities. Halloween nail ideas like this do not require you to stick to these specific pastel colors if you are not a fan of them. They have to be a lighter shade, period. You may or may not use different hues as well. When you have picked the color(s) you like, apply two coats on your nails and let them dry before you draw the bats. Top the design with a glittery or matte top coat for a subtle effect.
In case you are not into loud designs, you can keep things in style with gradient nail art. Of course, the best example of this is the color of blood. The top of the nails should have an image that depicts what fresh blood looks like. Then, the color darkens as you reach the tip. All you need for this art are a little flat sponge and different shades of red. Make the gradient on the sponge before dabbing it on your fingers until you get the desired style. Just be aware that it can be a messy process, so cover the skin around the nails with tape, liquid latex, or even Elmer’s glue before you begin.
If you have this nudging thought that there are so many amazing Halloween nail ideas to choose from, and you are quite the artistic prodigy, no one will stop you from doing a diverse design on each of your fingernails. This is the perfect time for you to bring out your love for scary things; that’s why you should plan how you want to do it ahead of time. The styles can be easily made when you have trusty nail art pens. Hence, it would feel as if you are painting, except for the fact that your canvas is your nails.
May these nail design ideas inspire you to dress up your nails and bring you and your daughter closer to each other. Cheers!
Among all the workouts ever invented, bodybuilding is one form of exercise that makes us want to ask a psychologist why it even exists. Our jaws drop whenever we open our television and see a man or a woman posing for a bodybuilding contest in ways that highlight their large, oiled-up muscles – that is true. However, we are aware that what they have gone through before achieving such bodily perfection may be far from being smooth.
“Bodybuilding has one of the most direct mind-body links of any sport or activity,” said Tom Kubistant, sports psychologist.
That reality, nevertheless, does not stop a lot of teenagers from aspiring to become bodybuilders. Some start at 18; others have been lifting weights way before that.
“From a body image perspective, researchers have suggested that males in western society have developed significant body concerns that cause them to generate a ‘drive for muscularity’ to meet a perceived high societal standard for a muscular physique,” said Mark D. Griffiths, PhD.
This is especially common for young males who want to build muscles to attract girls or practically not get bullied again by guys who have a much bigger built than them.
“What parents can do: See that your child has a grounding in assertive behavior. The real first line of defense against a bully is self-confidence,” said Hara Estroff Marano, Psychology Today editor-at-large.
Regardless of their reason for lifting weights, though, do you know what the most challenging part of bodybuilding is? It is fitting into clothes that used to be too tight or too loose for your teenager. After all, the flabby or stick figure will become replaced by a ripped body, and coming to the gym in clothes that no longer matches their size can take a toll on the teens’ self-esteem.
If your son’s bodybuilding aspiration already has your blessing, you should ante up your support by buying his garb from a reputable store. Here are the benefits of doing so.
Consumers Get To Choose Items From A Wide Selection
Bodybuilders more likely wear as little amount of apparel as possible when they compete. However, they spend most of their days or months in the gym to condition their body for the special event. When they are training with the usual crowd, they feel no need at all to go sans their shirt. This is when they get to wear a lot of clothes. Sandos, pullovers, hoodies, sweat pants – you name it. And if they can get it all from a single brand, it allows them to get everything they need and be back to their training grounds in a jiffy.
Efficient Ordering System Lets Customers Make Purchases In One Sitting
If there is another thing that bodybuilders are known for aside from their amazing physique, it’s the fact that they can lift weights that are perhaps as hefty as two size-6 ladies – or maybe even more – over their heads without toppling over or breaking their bones. There’s no saying how long your son has been training to be able to do that, but they will eventually manage to execute such a challenging act, as long as he learns the correct way of holding the bar and distributing their energy.
Now, this efficiency should be matched by a shop that has not only a physical store but also a digital marketplace. This way, if your teenager’s too exhausted to pick up new garb, they can be delivered at your house quickly.
High-Quality Products Are Always Available
Can you envision what would happen if a bodybuilder decides to wear a new T-shirt that is not water absorbent, and then he wipes his clammy palms on it as he makes his way to the barbell? The moisture will remain on his hands, so when he lifts the equipment, it will more likely slip from his grasp. He will be lucky if he notices it before he stretches his arms upwards, but what if the opposite happens? Ooh, we do not want to think about it!
Anyway, the bodybuilders certainly do not have to worry about that kind of scenario when they wear stuff from a reputable store. A lot of well-known brands produce pieces of clothes that are made from high-quality and hydrophilic materials. It entails that you can tone down the dangers that come with strength training by a smidge once you get them such apparel.
Customize Workout Clothes According To Personal Preferences
If your son feels more motivated to train when they are wearing something with the words that they live by, no law will hinder you from printing them on a shirt. Furthermore, many stores give you the freedom to customize workout clothes. They may have pre-made sayings or graphics that they may suggest to you, but we do not see any reason why you won’t be able to ask them to make the one that you want.
Your teenager’s aspiration of becoming a bodybuilder is something that every parent should be proud of. It is a physically taxing exercise, yet, but it can keep your son from befriending ill-meaning peers. He may spend a lot of hours lifting weights – that is correct – but at least you know that he is not drinking or smoking somewhere illegally.
Show your teenage bodybuilder how much you support him by only letting him put on bodybuilding clothes from reputable stores. Cheers!
Social anxiety is when an individual see people around him laughing, talking, and enjoying each other’s company. But he, on the other hand, can’t seem to force himself to participate or do the same. The situation is more common than most people think. So when someone feels like they are the only ones experiencing it, they are wrong. There are tons of other people who can’t seem to get rid of it and are struggling with different challenges on their own.
“Social anxiety is a perception that there is something embarrassing and deficient about us, and, unless we work hard to conceal or hide it, it will be revealed and we will be judged or rejected for it.” said Ellen Hendriksen, clinical psychologist.
With that, here are some of the significant things that only a person with social anxiety will understand.
The Preference For Virtual Communication
A socially anxious individual can communicate via text or social media. However, in person, he always gets lost in finding the right words to use in a conversation. An individual often finds it comfortable to communicate without having a face-to-face interaction with people. Why? He merely doesn’t know the answer to that. He only feels at ease expressing his thoughts and ideas over those communication tools.
The Choice Of Having One Or Two Friends
Perhaps it can be a reason of introversion when a person decides to stick with only one or two friends. Usually, a socially anxious one doesn’t genuinely want to mingle with more people. It is often to feel suffocated and irritable being surrounded by them. He can be perfectly okay even if he doesn’t see a couple of friends often. And though the individual enjoys his other friends’ company, he can live better off without them.
There’s Always An Excuse To Be Left Alone
There are no specific signs that will show if a person is socially anxious. Though there are some physical manifestations, it often gets ignored. Therefore, most of the time, he gets invited to social gatherings without others knowing about his condition. But instead of attending a crowded place, a socially anxious one usually don’t go. Instead, he invents reasons that will excuse him for not being able to participate in. With the constant refusal, others eventually end up not inviting the person anymore.
People’s Presence Becomes Overwhelming
Being surrounded by many people is too overwhelming for an individual with social anxiety. Every light, noise, smell, take in. Sometimes, it makes him unable to process information with those and even experiences a hard time filtering things out. An individual appears bombarded with too many things all at the same time. With that, he sets himself into a “flight mode” and immediately looks for a way to remove himself from the situation.
“These fears can be triggered by real or perceived criticism by others and can impact a person at school, work, a social gathering, crowded place like restaurants, bars or sporting event, and even places like doctor’s offices or stores,” said Jesse Matthews, PsyD.
No Contribution To Any Conversations
It doesn’t always mean that a socially anxious person can’t contribute something to a conversation. The truth is, there are some good things he can add in the discussion. However, the person opts not to. That’s because he fears that if ever he shared something to the crowd, someone will criticize him. That even if he elaborates his ideas, his contributions will only turn out unworthy. However, there are instances that he can feel comfortable talking to people. But it is expected to be a short and precise one.
The Comfort Zone Is All That Matters
A person with social anxiety often thinks that his comfort zone is the only safest place he can be. With that mentality, he shuts everyone out. It usually implies a confused behavior that others often misinterpret as something rude or weird. With that, the person often ends up having no one around which is okay with him at some point too.
No Unfamiliar People Are Welcome
A socially anxious person builds his life around family members. And since he grew up among them, he can potentially converse with them naturally. However, when an unfamiliar person tends to enter the family circle, the socially anxious one begins to distance himself from all the others. He will then intentionally avoid spending time with them especially when all the other family members are showing fondness to the new individual.
“It is untrue that most people with social anxiety prefer to be antisocial and to avoid connecting with others,” said Paulette Sherman, PsyD. “It is something they need to learn how to combat through treatment and possibly with the help of medication over time.”
Often Imagine Worst Case Scenarios
Although a person with social anxiety understand that some of the worst scenarios he’s imagining won’t happen, he never stops thinking about it. With that, it increases the anxiety level in an unmanageable way. The particular action promotes the need for isolation which is not helpful in daily function.
Some may see this as something reasonable and not a big deal. But for those people who have social anxiety, it means more than just worries and fears.
Adoptive parents nowadays have less knowledge when it comes to the needs of their adopted child with anxiety or depression. Since they haven’t known the child that long, most of the time, they fail to fulfill the basic needs of the adopted child. The agency or charity that have bequeathed the child to the adoptive parents have this notion that their job is already done. Once the child has a home, their obligation ends there. These agencies are unaware of the complaints and the issues that adoptive parents are forced to face because of difficulties with the child, adjustments and so many more. The agency neglected that support to get the foster parent, and the adopted child get acquainted with each other.