Some teenagers may appear smart, but deep inside they have many insecurities that they sometimes choose to be alone and some of them even fall into depression.
When the topic of divorce hits the household, the stress level escalates not only between parents but also among children. They already hold the feeling of uncertainty the moment they sense that parents are no longer showing the natural affection they have for each other. This ambivalence can result in many harmful behaviors of the child. It is best that parents should be honest and inform children on what’s the real score between them. This article will present some ways on how to spill the beans with children without compromising the relationship of the child with either parent.
Teenage is the most exciting part of one’s life. It comes with the gift of optimism, passion, fun, excitement, and experience of many colors. It was the best moment of my life, and I want my daughter to make the most of her teenage life, too, by allowing her to experience new good things.
High school crushes are among the most exciting part of the whole school experience. Whether your crush reciprocates your feelings or not, it does not matter. You may get hurt, but it’s the thrill that comes with it that often matters in the end.
It was my parents fear’ when I was in my adolescent years, and I fear the same now that I have a teenager in our home. I cannot imagine my daughter engaging in sexual activity at such an early age.
Moreover, it is much more stress for me now because of the influence of social media and the internet.
As a young girl, I have painted in my mind what my ideal man would be. As a young lady, I have already planned my dream wedding. And after I got married, I looked forward to becoming a mother. But this time, I wondered what kind of mother I would be.
I am born into a Christian family, and my parents are strict Christians. I do attend Bible study sessions and some Christian group gatherings, and I enjoy them. But I am keeping this a secret in school and even to some of my friends because I’m worried that they will look at me differently if they find out.
Are you the type of person who does not want to be surrounded by people? Do you want to be on your own than to hang out with others? Is it difficult for you to interact with other people in your life? If you answered yes to these questions, then there is a high chance that you are a shy person. At this point, it is essential to highlight the fact that being shy is only typical for a teenager. However, you must find a way to solve this problem because having this kind of personality can take a toll in your life.
How Does It Start?
Many causes can be associated with shyness. One of which is the lack of attention from the parents. According to a recent study, children who grew up receiving negative comments from their parents or being underappreciated are more likely to keep conversations short or to hide themselves from others. These individuals are afraid that they will get the same adverse treatment from other people, which is why they would rather keep their selves away.
“Kids are hitting a stage where they are discovering themselves, and there’s a lot of comparing,” said child psychologist Randy Hyde, PhD. “Kids want to be strong and powerful and tough.”
Another common reason for this problem is when the teenagers involved have experienced an unpleasant situation in the past. This situation may have included embarrassment, which made the teens feel utterly shy when speaking or dealing with others.
Therefore, if you have experienced all these things, then do not fret because it is only normal. Keep calm and find a way on how you can deal with the problem.
Is It Okay To Be Shy?
There is a great necessity to emphasize that being shy is not a bad thing. What is dangerous is when you are too shy to the point that it is affecting your personal life as well as your interactions with your classmates or schoolmates.
Below are some of the advantages of having the right amount of shyness:
- You can have more time to focus on your academics. As a result, your grades will increase, which can make your parents proud of you.
- You have a lesser chance of being involved in issues in school. At the same time, you are less likely to get in trouble.
- You will become lovable since many people prefer someone who is always quiet and one who thinks first before doing anything in social events or activities.
“When you are fully present in the moment, you will realize that social interactions are not something you need to avoid.,” said Dr. David Shanley, PsyD. “With practice, you can continually incorporate and improve upon your social skills that you learn from the world around you, ultimately making you feel more confident.”
Can You Overcome Shyness?
The answer to this question is in the affirmative. There are tons of available methods that you can use to overcome shyness. Just make sure that you understand this kind of personality trait before consulting the experts. The first step is to be sure about getting rid of this characteristic. Take note that this feeling of shyness can be associated with fears. You may be afraid that others will not like you. Well, you are wrong because many individuals out there would love to have you as a friend, to share special moments with you and to build long-lasting friendships with you.
“One strategy for helping shy adolescents overcome their fears of speaking up and of engaging in conversation is to tell them that talking together is just one way to establish social relationships. Doing together is another. Each way creates companionship,” said PhD psychologist Carl E. Pickhardt.
Getting over shyness is a complicated process. However, once you become the master of your thoughts, everything else will follow.
Finding out that someone you know or close to your heart is suffering from depression can get confusing. The initial reaction is that you would feel sad about the other person, which is why you have the urge to offer help in any possible way that you can think of. Do not worry because this is only normal, especially if the depressed individual is a family member. However, it is essential that you think twice before speaking or doing something as it can hurt the other person or make the situation worse.
As BetterHelp licensed professionals suggest, here are the things that you must never do to a person with clinical depression:
- Tell Him That He Is Only Sad
Telling a depressed person that what he is feeling is only a form of sadness is a big no-no. This can become very offensive to the said individual. It is as if you are discounting the fact that he has a more severe case of extreme sadness or grief. What he is feeling is more than that. Avoid making him feel that he is only exaggerating the emotions. When you do this, you are going to making him feel more neglected. The best thing to do is to be there for him. If you are unsure of what to do, just keep your mouth shut.
- Force Him To Cheer Up
For sure, you want the other person to start being happy about the things that he has in his life. You want him to focus on gratitude. Well, sad to say, forcing him to act in such a manner will only look like you are pressuring him to become someone that he is not. As a result, he would become more depressed than ever. The best thing to do at this point is to let him act based on what he is feeling. What is important is that you make yourself available to him.
“Depression is not a weakness of character, laziness, or a phase,” said Deborah Serani, PsyD. “Tough love, like telling someone to ‘buck up’ or ‘try harder,’ doesn’t work, and worsens the illness.”
- Accuse Him Of Being Melodramatic
The truth is that dealing with someone with depression can be exhausting on your part. It sucks to be there for a person who is apparently at lost of his emotions. Be more patient and understanding in handling the situation, especially if the depressed person is your son. Make him feel that what he is feeling right now is valid. Do not make the scenario more difficult by dismissing his thoughts and concerns. As an alternative, try to start meaningful conversations with him until he starts to open up.
“Kids might ignore, hide, or deny how they feel. Or they might not realize that they’re depressed. Older kids and teens might act like they don’t want help, but talk with them anyway. Listen, offer your support, and show love,” said D’Arcy Lyness, PhD.
- Place Him In An Awkward Place
There are many reasons for the depression that a teenager is feeling. At some point, no one knows what triggers it. Thus, it is logical that you want to find out about the causes so that you can devise means on solving the problem. This is a good thing to do, but you must be careful by ensuring that your acts will not place him in an awkward situation. For example, if one of the reasons for the depression of your son is a broken relationship, then do not invite his ex to come over to your place to talk to him. It will only break your son’s heart again. There could be an exception to this, which is when he allows such an arrangement to take place. Otherwise, refrain from doing it.
“Be compassionately curious with him. Ask him questions about his mood gently, without being emotional,” said Stephanie Dowd, PsyD. “Even parents with the best intentions often don’t realize that their concern can come across as critical rather than loving.”
Avoid doing all the things mentioned above to help your loved one get over from the drowning feeling of depression.