Hawaii Foster Youth Coalition

Emotional stress is quite overwhelming. Sometimes, we can’t handle it because there is not enough strength left within our overall health aspects. Thus, we always feel like the world is on our shoulders and nobody cares about us. Unfortunately, every emotional struggle is always like that. And despite being surrounded by loving and caring people, some of us tend to ignore that positive aspect. We want to believe that we are alone to validate our ideology that “no one” is there for us. We try to convince ourselves that people around us are unreliable, uncaring, and inconsiderate towards our emotional and mental health needs.

But honestly, that mentality that we used to hold on to is the mere reason that keeps us away from mental and emotional recovery. Because the more we instill in our heads that we are not relevant and that our feelings and thoughts are invalidated, we get stuck with the idea that we are handling things alone when in fact, people out there are more than willing to help and support us throughout our mental health battles.

Source: pixabay.com

With that, I must say, things will never change if we don’t acknowledge that people can still care. Some of them can’t understand our situation, and some of them are vulnerable to detachment. But it does not mean that all the people around us will automatically leave when things go down. Those specific individuals will still spend time with us, exert and effort in helping us, and make themselves available to listen to our emotional struggles.

These frequently asked questions might help ease the stress and negative thoughts about people not caring for us. They hold some answers about how we can manage to get through with the negative mentality we instill in our heads.

What to say when someone says no one cares?

It would be best if you said nothing. However, that is only applicable to some extent. When someone says “no one cares about them,” you can’t go out and convince people to validate that. You can’t make them care about the person. Honestly, there’s no instant fix with that kind of mentality because negative emotions can blind it.

What does it mean when someone cares about you?

Knowing that someone cares about you brings a great feeling. Someone who cares and worries about you will always find time to look after your overall health and would want to know everything about your thoughts, feelings, and reactions. Sometimes, the individual would keep the conversation going even if they have nothing significant to say. The person would be eager to know the ins and outs of things in your life and how it affects you in general. Someone who cares about you always exerts an effort to care and understand your situation no matter what.

What do you do when nobody cares for you?

Honestly, it would be a sad experience to know that there is no one, therefore you. But most of the time, to help your mental and emotional state, you need to fight the feelings of worthlessness. Always remind yourself that you are worth caring about, no matter how you feel or what anyone says. Learn to practice acknowledging negative thoughts so that you can immediately let them go. Think about how you should positively respond when someone offers you support.

Understandably, all is easy when said than done. But think about the positive effect of not pushing people away, especially when they are only trying to help. It is unrealistic to think often that nobody cares for you because at some point, some individuals, whether you may not know them, deeply care about you.

How do you test him to see if he cares?

You will know if a special someone cares about you when he’s always honest, an active listener, and remembers the little things about you. If he wants to share his hobbies with you and wants to see you happy, he cares about you. If he asks you for your opinion and respects it, he is a keeper. Also, if he makes time for you and drops other plans if you need him, then he truly cares.

How do you know if a person actually cares about you?

There are certain ways people tell you that they love you without having to say a word. You would know that they care when they spend time with you and reach out to talk with you regularly, even when they are busy. You would know that people care about you when they exert an effort to take care of you in the simplest, most human ways.

But be mindful to appreciate little effort. Because sometimes, the problem with us is that we often do not see and count the little deeds because we are too focused on an obvious type of care. We have the standards of care that we need and expect people to give us that.

How do I know if he genuinely cares about me?

You will know if someone really cares about you when he listens to you patiently. When you express your feelings for someone— whether they are serious, silly, humorous, emotional, or utter non-sense — he would definitely listen to you uncomplainingly. Because at times, he may not be a very good listener to other people in his life. But if that person is all ears for you, it is a great indication that he truly cares.

Source: pixabay.com

Why do I have no friends?

One of the worse feelings you may experience in life is sadness from the idea that you have no friends. But to understand the emotional suffering, you need to start identifying common reasons you have no friends. Sometimes, it could be because you aren’t into socializing. Perhaps you don’t enjoy small talk or parties. You don’t like to have long conversations with other people aside from your small circle. All these factors play a role in how to deal with having no friends.

But if the situation is merely true and that you do not have friends around to stick with you, you need to mentally and emotionally strengthen up. That is because the idea of being alone is the scariest thing that could pop up in your mind. If people are not caring for you and do not want to be around you, exert an effort to find the right circle.

Why do I get so lonely?

Sometimes you get too lonely because uncontrollable things are happening in your life. Sometimes, all of them are too much handle. However, in most cases, the loneliness you feel can come from major issues, particularly mental illness. Many mental illnesses like bipolar, anxiety, and depression can cause an extreme sense of loneliness.

What do you do when you’re lonely?

Remember that as soon as you can put a label on your loneliness, you should work your best to do something about it. You can start by writing down positive memories and taking notes of all the things you are thankful for. You can also get a pet or spend time with people close to your heart. Make it a habit to set a schedule for taking care of yourself and stick to it. Smile and focus on a positive vibe.

How do you tell if someone doesn’t care about you?

You will know when someone is emotionally detached and doesn’t genuinely care about you:

1. If they’re not compromising, uncaring individuals only do what they want to do, and they don’t pay attention to your needs or feelings.
2. If they keep on finding flaws in you, you begin to hate them as much as you hate yourself.
3. If they’re too nosy and inconsiderate.
4. They don’t usually argue with you. But if these people do, it is your entire fault.

How do you tell if a friend doesn’t care about you?

Signs that your friends don’t care about you when they don’t exert any effort to see you. When their only intention is to get in contact when they need something, and they don’t care about how you’re feeling, then they do not genuinely care. They leave you out of hangouts and special occasions, and they are insulting and rude to you. They don’t support you during tough times as well.

Is it unhealthy to have no friends?

Yes. Honestly, being socially isolated is dreadfully unhealthy. Studies have shown that if you haven’t got family, friends, or community ties, your chance of dying early may be 50% higher than if you did. Social isolation is now being soughed after as similarly detrimental as smoking or not taking exercise. It can cause the overall health to collapse and sometimes no recovery mentally and emotionally.

Source: pixabay.com

How do you fight loneliness?

There are ways that you can consider to fight loneliness. It will help if you give yourself time to feel your full sadness. Get out of your troubled mind and focus on getting better. Reach out to people that truly matter. .open up about how you’re feeling. Be generous inside and out. Stay present and positive regardless of the negative things around you. Keep a gratitude journal and practice self-compassion

How do I stop thinking about being alone?

There are five practical ways you can do to combat your feelings of loneliness. One is learning to cherish your alone time. Note that there is a huge difference between being alone and feeling lonely. Increase your involvement in social groups. Socialize with people and get to know their different qualities. Get out of your comfort zone and do the things that would make you grow. Be unique and stop comparing yourself to others and. Reclaim your sense of purpose and be the best version of yourself.

 

Depression can come from a wide range of stressful issues in life. Usually, adults deal with it more often because there are relationship problems, marital issues, financial strain, death or loss of a loved one, self-interest conflict, disappointments, rejection, and many more. With all these issues, adults handle them differently. Some maintain a proper mental and emotional composure, while others tend to choose isolation and agony.

Source: pixabay.com

But when it comes to teenage depression, things are a little bit complicated. Sometimes, even if others think that kids are not entirely prone to major life setbacks, they still endure emotional and mental pain. And sometimes, while parents think that their kids are safe at home and school, things begin to happen unexpectedly.

While most teenagers enjoy their lives with lovable friends, there are times that not all individuals at school can maintain a good relationship. Nowadays, teens are perfectionists, sensitive, and impulsive. They do not care about their actions anymore as long as they live with the standards of society. Thus, even at an early stage, there is a hierarchy, and bullying happens.

What is the relationship between bullying and mental health?

Bullying has a huge impact on an individuals’ mental, physical and emotional health. The complications take place during the school years that can develop until adulthood. Bullying often leads to physical injury, social or emotional problems, and in some cases, even suicidal thoughts and death. Bullied teens are more likely to experience long-term damage to self-esteem, depression, and anxiety.

It is vital to pay attention to the kids’ actions and behavior. Sometimes a word from them that says they are fine is something parents must watch out for. It is vital to communicate often and asked children frequently about their relationships with other kids. It would be great to influence teenagers to become more open about their thoughts, feelings, and expectations.

Does cyberbullying cause depression?

Unfortunately, though many people still effuse to believe it, bullying can indeed cause depression. In fact, the victims of cyberbullying potentially experience depression, including loneliness, sadness, poor self-esteem, insecurity, and academic decline. Most of the time, there are feelings of being an outcast, promoting self-harm and suicidal thoughts and behavior.

Note that cyberbullying is a complicated situation. Sometimes, there are not enough specific people to confront, especially those with harsh or below-the-belt comments. Things happen online, and anonymity is an escape route for blemished behavior. In cyberbullying, teens often can’t do anything.

 What is the meaning of cyberbullying?

Cyberbullying is a type of harassment over digital devices that intend to force people, threatens, abuse, aggressively intimidate, or dominate. Usually, it involves phones, computers, and tablets. Cyberbullying or digital harassment occurs through Text, SMS, apps, online in social media, forums, and gaming environments where people can participate in, view, or share content.

A friendly reminder to teenagers should be given constantly. That is not to trust anyone instantly, especially when they hide behind an unfamiliar face or name. It is essential to teach children not to trust the person behind the computer and never to post and send confidential information. It would also be nice to avoid frequent communication with people that seems fond of harassing or disrespecting others.

Source: pixabay.com

 How does cyberbullying affect mental health?

Bullying affects a person’s mental health. Over time, the emotional, physical, and mental torture causes low self-esteem, stress, feelings of unworthiness, anxiety, and depression. If an individual becomes a target of bullying, his behavior often changes in negative ways. He starts avoiding talking to friends or socializing with anyone.

In some instances, teens become more and more isolated than they disregard the outside world. They begin to think that everything around them is causing them pain. They choose not to talk to their loved ones nor have a connection to anyone. They build their own world inside a box.

 What is the cause and effect of cyberbullying?

Any bullying causes significant psychological and emotional distress. Like any other bullying victim, cyberbullied individuals struggle with fear, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. In unfortunate cases, these individuals also may experience drastic physical symptoms and struggle academically. They also suffer from poor social interaction that eventually leads to self-isolation.

What are the short-term effects of cyberbullying?

Some of the short-terms of bullying include a wide range of stress and sleep issues—usually, these end when the bullying stops immediately. However, in some cases, victims demonstrate several psychological problems, particularly anxiety and depression, when the bullying tends to happen for longer periods. Thus, victims of bullying have higher suicidality rates than those who do not experience physical, mental, and emotional torture.

 What are the long-term effects of cyberbullying?

Cyberbullying uses social media to intentionally harass people who cannot easily look after themselves against destructive and out-of-control online acts. It often causes severe, long-lasting effects and even permanent overall damage to an individual. It is linked to mental health conditions like depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety, and suicidal tendencies.

 Which country has a significant rate of cyberbullying?

The statistics of selected countries that contribute to the global awareness of cyberbullying showed that the country with the highest cyberbullying rate was Sweden. It ranks 91 percent of respondents reporting that they know someone being bullied or experienced cyberbullying themselves.

Source: pixabay.com

Takeaway

Bullying is never okay. Kids who experience it are always on the verge of emotional breakdown, hate, and suicidal thoughts. Though we acknowledge the existence of the action in today’s generation, it is still wrong to normalize it. We need to stand and tell people that bullying is a serious offense because not every child is confident enough to stand for themselves. Not all of them are aware of the physical, mental, and emotional damage they are getting. For those bullies, these kids sometimes do not understand the pressure and consequences of their actions. As adults, it is our duty and responsibility to educate our kids about the dangers of bullying and how it can affect everybody’s lives.

 

 

Whether it’s an acquaintance, coworker, or only a person you wish to know more about, it can’t be easy to create a connection with people. But you can follow these particular tips on what your kind of questions can be like.

Source: rawpixel.com

The first group of questions should be suitable for getting to know a person you just met or a person you don’t know much about. They are informal but interesting. If you want to know someone more intimately, you can proceed with the next group of questions, which is more inclined towards the personal side. The questions are more profound, but they are great for new friends who want to become closer or those who want to know more about each other’s personal lives. The last group of questions should be very personal. They are suitable for knowing more about someone who you already know quite well. You can choose this group of questions to ask someone you’re in a relationship with or to your close friends.

Here are more details about questions to ask a guy you just met.

What are some good questions to ask someone you just met?

Some questions that you could ask someone that you just met include:

• Who inspires you to be a better person, and why?
• What would you do in a day when you’re not out dating?
• What is the most unforgettable experience that you could remember from your childhood years?
• What’s a significant lesson that your ex-boyfriend or ex-partner taught you?

What should I ask in 20 questions?

Questions that you could ask in a game of 20 questions include:

• If you could be the lead actor in a movie, who would you choose to be?
• Would you choose never-ending money or never-ending love?
• What is your favorite emoticon, and why?
• What’s more important to you – your romantic relationships or your platonic relationships?
• If you were cast away on an island with a friend, who would that be?

How do you start a conversation with someone you just met?

To begin a conversation with a person you’ve just met, you can start by asking questions or information about something that you’re interested to know. You can then introduce yourself to the person and maybe pay her a simple compliment or praise that would make her day. Move forward by asking her opinion on something that would interest you both. You can also ask her about the weather.

What are 10 questions to ask a guy?

There are many questions that you can ask a guy, but some of the most common include:

• What kind of food or drink do you like?
• What are the pros and cons of being a male?
• What would you do first if you were given five million dollars?
• If you could do one magic spell, what would it be?
• What movie do you want to watch repeatedly without getting bored?
• What kind of job have you always dreamed of having?
• What do you enjoy doing ever since you were a child up until today?
• Do you enjoy traveling?
• What genre of music do you enjoy listening to?
• Do you love pets, and if yes, what pet do you like to have?

What are some juicy questions to ask a guy?

Some of the juiciest and flirtiest questions to ask a guy include:

• What turns you on?
• How would you react if a girl makes the first move?
• What’s your pet peeve, if you have one?
• Do you have a specific type of girl?
• Do you sometimes dream of me?
• Would you rather make out or hug and talk?
• What things turn you off?

What are some really personal questions?

Deep and personal questions to ask someone can include:

• Do you think you are currently living the life you’ve always dreamed of?
• Do you believe that people deserve a second chance?
• What’s the biggest and most crucial decision you’ve had to make so far?
• What principles do you live by?
• What’s the single most important thing that you can’t live without?
• Who is your inspiration?

What should I ask my GF?

Great questions that you could ask your girlfriend include:

• Do you feel that something is missing in our relationship?
• Are you happy that I’m your boyfriend?
• What part of our relationship makes you smile?
• Do you like the way I smell?
• Is there something that you wish you could change in our relationship?

Source: rawpixel.com

What is a good conversation starter?

Here are some initial pitches that you can use when you want to start a conversation:

• Do you have something planned for the weekend?
• Do you have techniques on how to prevent stress?
• How do you best describe yourself in three words?
• What’s a great restaurant to dine in this area?
• What’s your favorite pastime?

How do you make a conversation interesting?

To make conversations with someone more interesting, remember that it’s not all about you, so talk about your talk’s main subject. Converse slowly and clearly and when you want to inquire about something, ask using open-ended questions so that the other person can explain or express himself better. When you’ve both warmed up, then you can start asking slightly personal questions and see if he is comfortable answering them.

How can I impress someone in the first meeting?

If you want to impress someone during your first meeting, you must think about some goals that you want to achieve at the end of the meeting. Before heading to the meeting place, make sure that you are comfortable with what you’re wearing. During the conversation, give people a nice smile for good vibes and share compliments when necessary. Ask how they are and how their families are doing. Talk about light topics, something that you have common ground on. Finally, remember that it’s not always about you.

How do you flirt with a guy over text?

Generally, it’s best to keep messages simple. Keep your texts brief but sweet. Flirting doesn’t have to be all dirty. You can make it cozy and light by asking him about his family, hobbies, and other personal questions. You can make it playful by teasing him or making funny comments, leaving him wanting to text you more. Also, making him laugh is not a bad idea at all.

What are funny questions to ask?

Some really funny questions you can ask include:

• What do you think is your least impressive talent?
• Who is the dirtiest person you know?
• What’s the weirdest thing that happened to you?
• Which part of your face would you rather lose – your mouth or your nose?

Source: rawpixel.com

Whatever kind of conversation you begin with, you should keep in mind that it may turn out awkward at first, and you have to fine with it. Eventually, if you continue, hopefully, you’ll reach that point where you’ll have a really smooth, enjoyable, and interesting conversation.

 

 

Source: pixabay.com

Manic depression is a name previously used to refer to bipolar disorder. It is a type of mood disorder or major depressive disorder that presents with hypomanic and manic episodes. Bipolar disorder is considered a serious condition. The manic episodes involve sleeplessness up to days, psychosis, paranoia, delusions of grandeur, and hallucinations. Additionally, depressive bouts can be more debilitating and more difficult to manage than those who never experience mania or hypomania.

Bipolar disorder is a compound mental illness that tends to originate from a mixture of hereditary and non-hereditary factors. The mood attacks related to it involve mania (high energy and intense excitement) or clinical depression with bouts of normal mood energy and mood between attacks. The level of mood episodes can vary from slight to very severe, and they can occur slowly or abruptly within a time period of days or even weeks.

When distinct mood attacks occur four or more times a year, this is known as rapid cycling. Rapid cycling must not be mistaken for recurrent moment-to-moment alterations in mood, which can occasionally happen to individuals with bipolar disorder or other illnesses like a borderline personality disorder.

Along with depressive or manic disorders, people with bipolar disorder may experience instabilities in cognition. They may also suffer from distorted perception and impaired social functioning.

Below are some frequently asked questions and their answers about bipolar disorder and other forms of severe depression.

Source: rawpixel.com

What is the most reliable symptom of depression?

Feeling helpless or hopeless about life is the most reliable symptom of depression. Other emotions may include self-hate, inappropriate guilt, or worthlessness.

What percentage of students have symptoms of depression?

Approximately 20% of the teen population gets depressed before they go into adulthood. On the other hand, 10% to 15% experience signs and symptoms at any given time. Finally, 30% of teens that are depressed are getting treatment for their condition.

What is the cause of a feeling of depression in human beings?

Most probably, depression is a result of a blend of biological, psychological, genetic, and environmental factors, as per the NIMH. Specific medical diseases may also cause depression, including cancer, prolonged pain, an underactive thyroid, and heart disease.

Is confusion a symptom of depression?

Depression has been associated with memory problems, like confusion and forgetfulness. It could also make it hard to concentrate on work and other activities, difficult to think clearly and make proper decisions. Anxiety and stress can cause poor memory as well. Additionally, depression is linked to a lack of short-term memory.

What are the 5 signs of mental illness?

The primary signs of mental health illness include:

• Severe mood changes
• Extreme worry, anxiety, or paranoia
• Significant modifications in sleeping or eating
• Social withdrawal
• Longstanding irritability or sadness

What are the signs of a mental breakdown?

Warning signs of mental breakdown are as follows:

• Anxiety accompanied by muscle tension, dizziness, high blood pressure, sweaty hands, shaking or
trembling, and upset stomach
• Depression symptoms like self-harm or suicidal ideations and hopelessness
• Hallucinations
• Severe mood changes or unexplained rage
• Insomnia

What is a psychotic break?

A psychotic break implies the initial onset of psychotic indications for someone or the abrupt onset of psychotic symptoms following a stage of remission. Symptoms include visual and auditory nightmares, paranoia, and delusional beliefs and thoughts.

Do you cry during a mental breakdown?

Yes, crying is one of the many things you could be when you have a mental breakdown. Other feelings accompany this include helplessness, fear, uncontrollable rage, burnout, emotional outbursts, and detachment.

What are the first signs of going crazy?

The initial warnings signs of insanity include:

• Severely low or high moods
• Confused thoughts
• Longstanding irritability and sadness
• Significant changes in sleeping and eating habits
• Social withdrawal
• Extreme anxiety, worry, or fear
• Strong feelings of rage
• Hallucinations or delusions

How do I know if I’m bipolar?

Bipolar disorder is a type of mental disorder that is characterized by severe mood changes from high to low then from low to high. The highs are times of mania, while the lows are times of depression. The mood swings might become complicated so that you may feel euphoric and despondent both at one time.

What does psychosis feel like?

Psychosis comprises a gamut of symptoms, but it commonly entails one of two major events – hallucinations are feeling, hearing, or seeing things that are not actually present, like hearing voices.

What triggers psychosis?

HIV, strokes, traumatic brain injury, brain tumors, and some nervous system conditions like Alzheimer’s, dementia, and Parkinson’s disease may result in psychosis. Additionally, psychosis indicates an illness such as bipolar disorder, depression, schizophrenia, or schizoaffective disorder.

What are psychotic thoughts?

Psychosis is described as a distraction to an individual’s perceptions and thoughts that make it hard for him to identify what is real from what is not. These distractions are frequently experienced as believing, hearing, and seeing things that are not actually there or having bizarre, intruding thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.

What should you not say when someone is psychotic?

Individuals diagnosed with psychosis or those who have just experienced a psychotic episode may have difficulty understanding complex languages such as metaphors, sarcasm, and exaggerations. It would be best to talk in short and concise sentences during this stage, not to disappoint or confuse the person.

Source: rawpixel.com

If your child or any of your loved ones suffers from serious mood alterations, behavior, or depression problems, consult with your doctor or a mental health professional who specializes in dealing with the specific illness. Behavior and mood issues secondary to bipolar disorder or other mental health disorders can ultimately cause major difficulties. Early intervention can help prevent life-threatening consequences and reduce the effect of mental health problems on your child or loved one.

Additionally, your doctor may want to discuss with other family members to see if they can recognize periods when your loved one was excited or over-energized. As excitement may feel great or even normal compared to depression, it is frequently difficult for someone with bipolar disorder to know if his mood was exaggerated. Mania often impacts judgment, social behavior, and thinking in ways that may lead to grave problems and severe embarrassment for the person concerned. For instance, irresponsible financial or business decisions may be made when they are in their manic period. Hence, early diagnosis and an efficient treatment plan are vital with bipolar disorder and other more severe forms of depression.

Throughout my teenage years, I dealt with a lot of mental health issues. I had social anxiety, depression, and OCD; I genuinely thought that I would not reach my 40th birthday. But when I received counseling treatment, my world became brighter.

Here are the things I should’ve told my teenage self that would’ve eased my mind.

It Is Okay To Speak Your Mind

Since I lived in a patriarchal family, my father was typically the only one who could speak his mind freely. He did not think of how my mother and I felt whenever he was too honest about what we were doing wrong, claiming it was tough love. It did not mean that my father knew everything, though. Sometimes, he merely wanted to exercise his power and make us follow his lead.

In reality, I could only cry whenever my father said mean things to me throughout my teenage years. That’s especially true when he commented about my weight and used “fatty” as a term of endearment. Though I was still far from being overweight or obese, such words made me too self-conscious, to the extent that I hid under baggy clothes and often thought that I would never be taken seriously by anyone.

Note to young self: No matter how close-minded you think your parents are, there are ways to make them listen to you. You can start by using your voice to express what’s on your mind. Say how much their words hurt you; don’t just take it all in quietly. You may be surprised at how their treatment may improve once they realize its effect on you.

Stop Worrying About Being Disliked By People

In every faction, people adhere to the norms created by their predecessors to avoid getting criticized for their actions. For instance, a student should always strive to be on top of the class to make the parents proud. Otherwise, folks will lose their interest in them and pay them no mind.

I used to be among those kids who worried about other people disliking me, to the point that I tried everything to stick to the norms. I studied hard, learned how to be prim and proper, and never toed any line. However, some individuals still tried to bully me, and my parents always had something to say about what aspects of myself I needed to improve. That made me resentful and felt like I was worse than others.

Note to young self: Norms are not like laws that may place you in prison when you disobey them. You need to please nobody but yourself. If you continue to worry about being disliked by people, you will forget to figure out what makes you likable and who adores you despite your flaws.

Wear Whatever You Want – It’s Nobody’s Business

When I was growing up, my parents only allowed me to wear mid-length dresses or baggy pants because I was naturally curvy, and they said I did not want to attract unwanted attention. They eventually let me put on fitted jeans and knee-length skirts when I became a teenager, provided that I wore hoodies or long-sleeved shirts to avoid accentuating my large bosom. Despite all that, I heard other moms criticizing my parents for letting me wear “provocative clothes.”

I could not help but feel ashamed of my body at the time. I thought that it was a curse to be born with a curvy body, so I started wearing gender-neutral clothes after that. I envied the petite girls in my school who could put on whatever they wanted, but I accepted my fate.

Note to young self: There is nothing provocative about long-sleeved tops, skirts, dresses, or even fitted jeans. Being sexy is not your fault, and you should not be afraid to flaunt it. After all, you are not using your body to flirt with guys or get anything you want.

See Mistakes As Learning Curbs, Not As Catalysts For The End Of The World

My parents typically scolded me for hours whenever I messed up at school or home. It did not matter if I merely forgot to fix my bed in the morning or got an A- in my exams instead of an A+ — they said that mistakes were unforgiveable. Hence, I always beat myself up for not doing everything correctly.

My dream of being perfect drove some of my friends away. Again, I was unhappy, but my parents’ opinions mattered more to me than anything. Whenever I failed, I called myself names and even thought of self-harming.

Note to young self: The world will not crumble when you make mistakes. It is normal to commit them, especially for teenagers who still don’t know how the world works. All you can do is learn from them.

Final Thoughts

I cannot turn back time and change every awful thing that happened when I was a teenager. But I choose to live my life however I want now, regardless of what others say about me.

 

Source: rawpixel.com

 

You’ve gone through the ups and downs of puberty. Now, your tween will be going through the transition of being a child to a teen. Of course, you’d expect this to be a hell of a ride – not for your tween alone, but parents and the whole family.

While you are aware that the puberty phase does have an ending, your tween is currently in it, and she won’t realize that the trials confronting her are only short-term, which will most probably create more serious problems for her. But you can help her through this confusing and daunting stage of her life, with just a little time of your day, some patience and empathy, and a whole lot of love for your tween.

However, before we go right to it, let’s understand puberty better.

Puberty Defined

Puberty is a transformation that everyday undergoes. It is a period of change where the child’s body changes to that of an adult. The increased hormones will result in various growth processes in girls and boys and may potentially cause chaos within a teen’s personal emotions, including their skin and body. The transformation is completed in a maximum of four years, and every child will develop and transition at different speeds than their friends.

It is not uncommon for kids to compare themselves to those who are also going through the same phase as them, and sometimes they may be frustrated that some of their peers are maturing early or late compared to them.

Puberty in Boys

Families will most likely see the signs of puberty in boys when they are 11 or 12 years old. At this age, their voice deepens, and their muscles grow. You’ll also notice that hair from male sex organs and armpits are starting to grow, including physical growth in the organ and the testicles as well. Other physical signs will also include body odor, growth spurts, and acne.

Source: pixabay.com

Puberty in Girls

For girls, puberty comes earlier, perhaps by 8 or 9, which is not extraordinary at all, and menstruation may start when they are 11 or 12 years old. Like the boys, girls also present with physical signs such as breast development, pubic and underarm hair growth, body odor, menstruation, growth spurts, and facial acne.

Some girls show signs of maturity before reaching 8, which is an abnormal condition known as precocious puberty. This is treatable and should be assessed by a pediatrician.

Helping your Tween Survive Puberty

The initial step to take in helping your tween go through the ups and downs of this confusing stage is to prepare her for the foreseeable changes. Teens have sex education classes that will definitely touch on the topic of puberty and will answer almost all of your child’s curious and personal queries. If not, assure your tween that you are there to answer them and not hesitate to ask you.

Provide Instructions

One day, your daughter will have to know the directions of using a tampon or a pad, or your tween son must know how to deal with the annoying growth spurts or how to shave. Make sure you provide them with the tools that they need to achieve what must be done.

Your tween might also require information about personal hygiene, so help her learn the proper way to clean her body while in the shower, how to use a deodorant, and other hygiene practices. If you’re not very comfortable teaching her, assign someone who can, probably her older sibling, a cousin, or a close friend. If you don’t have any of these resources, you can always find a great online site to provide her with personal hygiene information and tools.

Be Patient

Tweens frequently experience erratic mood changes and other emotional flare-ups, so be patient with your child. She must learn to be aware of her own behaviors that are not appropriate, and at the same time, you’ll have to know when it is fine to let her vent and release her frustrations, irritability, and other emotions.

By now, you know almost everything about your child’s personality, so it would be wise to trust your intuition when you decide on how you will deal with her. Help her deal with her erratic emotions as well. Often, time alone with your tween can really help, or some exercise like walks or runs could do wonders. When you give her positive distractions, you are giving your tween time to let her think about what she’s going through and then try to fix her problem internally.

Source: rawpixel.com

Pay Attention to the Physical Transition

Your tween is developing and growing, and you should pay attention to the physical changes that come with it. Depending on what kind of day it is, your child may either be scared or excited about these changes. Don’t ever ignore these feelings. Your tween may be worried about pimples, painful breasts, and voice changes, among other changes. Offer help and support to your tween and as a parent or family member, assure her that you understand what she’s going through. Acne is particularly worrisome for tweens, so make sure that you address the issue. If possible, talk to your tween’s pediatrician for professional advice on how to manage it medically.

Bottom Line

The teenage and adolescence phases, which make up the puberty period, are generally stressful, despite possible positive situations. As parents, you must make sure that your tween has an outlet for her anxieties and worries. Sports, exercise, and other fun activities are great ways to distract her from puberty issues and provide her a means to move forward. Ultimately, commit to making time with your tween as a parent or as a family member.

 

With all the health dangers of the pandemic, it is quite a relief to know that kids appear to be less affected by COVID-19 than adults. However, if the children have pre-existing medical conditions, they may have a different risk associated with mental, emotional, and physical malfunction. With that, parents should take extra care to keep the children safe. But note that children’s needs vary from one person to another, so some tips might not be suitable for some kids.

Source: pexels.com

Explain The Situation In The Most Simplest Way – Kids are smart. They know what is happening around them, but they don’t have that specific understanding of the ways of adjustments. With that, parents must explain to the kids the situation in the way that it won’t add fear and anxiety. That way, kids will understand the significance of frequently washing their hands, social distancing, and proper self-care.

Do Not Panic – Parents can help children adjust to the new normal provided that they are mentally and emotionally stable. When parents panic, it becomes easy for the kids to feel the same. From there, the children will start to show anxiety symptoms. Parents should assure the kids that everything will pass and that there is nothing to worry about. Parents’ continual assurance is essential in keeping the kids emotionally safe and secure.

Source: pexels.com

Never Let The Children Listen to Anything From The Media – The media are all hyped up, and it doesn’t give people an entirely accurate picture of what’s happening. Therefore, it would be much better if parents limit the kids’ access to negative news updates concerning the Coronavirus. That is to avoid adding damage to their emotional and mental issues, especially when the news is about the rising number of infected people and their death.

Consider Home Schooling – If parents think that their children are vulnerable to the infection, it is much better that they let the kids stay at home. If they believe that it is not safe to send kids to school, that is fine. They still have the option to home school them. Aside from that, parents can utilize the internet and enroll their kids for online classes.

Source: pexels.com

Do Something Fun With The Kids – It is a significant moment for kids to bond and have fun with their family. Thus, doing activities together during this time is essential. All family members can play indoors, learn to cook, read books, sing karaoke, and many more. However, parents should consider limiting screen time for the kids. That way, the kids won’t feel drained and exhausted from too much gadget exposure.

Always Stay On Schedule – The children’s adjustment period may depend on the routines they do every day. Thus, transitioning from one routine to the other may become challenging for some. Parents shouldn’t waver too much on the necessary things that children must do. These include playing, sleeping, eating on time, watching TV, and using digital devices. There will be little to no disturbance on the children’s schedule if parents can handle the transition slowly.

Source: pexels.com

Allow Social Connection Through Digital Access – The children suffer from emotional issues now that they are locked up. Thus, some of them are entirely eager to go outside and be with people. Nevertheless, to avoid the danger of carelessness, kids must stay socially connected with friends, classmates, and family despite the physical distancing protocol. That way, they will not feel alone and isolated.

At this time of the global crisis, it is hard for parents to see their children in such an unfortunate situation. But through proper care and considerations, parents can help their kids adjust to the new normal.

 

Source: pexels.com

The pandemic situation can cause a lot of stress and difficulties, especially within a family. That is due to their limited access to the outside world that makes them think they are locked up in an unwanted situation. With that said, the inability to explore can cause toxicity because there is too much emotional and mental pressure to handle in a roof. Fortunately, there are ways that help improve family relationships, especially in this pandemic time.

Source: pexels.com

Increase Physical Contact

A family relationship becomes fragile when members begin to ignore the importance of physical connection. At some point, parents and children can become reluctant to hugging or kissing because those actions are no longer considered cool anymore. Thus, members of the family keep physical affection to a minimum. However, it shouldn’t be like that. Hugging and kissing are physical traits that remind everyone they are not alone. And during this pandemic time, everyone needs someone to hold onto.

Understand Each Other’s Responsibilities

Since the pandemic situation limits people to do things they need to do, more responsibilities tend to stick up on their plates. That is the reason why members of the family often ignore their duties. So to avoid that, parents and children should come up with an engaging activity that all of them can compromise doing. It will be easier for everyone to adjust and put quality time with each other despite the pressure and emotional exhaustion of being home-quarantined.

Source: pexels.com

Limit The Use of Technological Devices

The use of technological devices skyrocketed right after the start of the global lockdown. That is because people get more drawn to their smartphones and computers for the sole purpose of news and entertainment. But the habit becomes a danger to the family relationship since it promotes isolation inside the house. So for that thought, it would better if members of the family consider putting their devices aside and spend more actual time with each other. Because during these bad days, it is essential to appreciate your loved ones.

Discuss Things Before Transitioning

The pandemic situation is the cause of people’s inability to secure a normal routine. Therefore, inside the house, things can be a little different from the way it was before. For parents and children, it can be stressful. So before each member ends up changing their actions, they all need to discuss things before jumping to any transitions. Members of the family must understand each and everyone’s needs in times of crisis, whether it might be physical, emotional, or mental aspects.

Source: pexels.com

Obtain A Meaningful Conversation

Sustaining a strong relationship with parents or children is difficult during this pandemic time. At some point, an invisible distance gets created even though people are within reach. Sometimes putting an effort to connect becomes minimal to none. With that, all members of the family must practice having a meaningful conversation. 10 to 15 minutes of heart-to-heart talk can mean a lot. There is no required time for it as long as both parties value the presence of each other.

Encourage Necessary Emotional Response

In times like this that no one is certain about the future, it is crucial to maintain emotional and mental health. With that, parents and children must learn to encourage themselves to use the right emotional response. And since everyone is facing the pandemic stress differently, it is essential to be mindful of respecting each other’s thoughts and feelings. That instead of shutting them out or dismissing their feelings, members of the family should build a strong relationship through constant communication.

Some teenagers may appear smart, but deep inside they have many insecurities that they sometimes choose to be alone and some of them even fall into depression.

 

Continue reading High School: Years Of Inferiority Complex And Insecurities